


flicker

by ohvictor



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fix-It, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Alternating, Plothole Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 00:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohvictor/pseuds/ohvictor
Summary: The footsteps and voices grow closer, and before Rei can compose himself into a more presentable heap of limbs, they’re bursting through the door of the infirmary. Rei lifts his head an inch off the pillow and makes out Koga and Adonis, both still wearing their pirate costumes and laden with plastic bags of leftover food and props.(UNDEAD-centric, post-'Pirates' fix-it fic)





	flicker

**Author's Note:**

> as an undeadP, [piratefes](http://ensemble-stars.wikia.com/wiki/Pirates) stresses me out a lot - undead is such a mess there, and it feels as though they don't get much resolution (at the end of the event or in future events). so i wrote this to sum up how i imagine the rest of the evening goes. featuring: (1) koga and adonis visiting rei in the infirmary, (2) koga and adonis briefly debriefing, and (3) kaoru briefly reflecting on his mistakes. even if you haven't read piratefes (or haven't read it recently), you can still enjoy this, although it is a direct followup so it helps to know what's happened!

Night has fallen and the moon has settled down in its perch in the sky by the time Rei makes it back to the infirmary. The lights are still on, but Sagami has left for the night, although Rei spots a sheet of paper sitting on the bed he’d vacated hours earlier. If it’s a note, it can wait until Rei feels a little less like death.

His arms are already freezing up, but he manages to get the pirate jacket off, and he has to sit down on the bed to wrestle with the boots. The costume really did look good on him, and he hopes someone took nice pictures, because he's never putting it on again. The boots come off at the price of his fingers aching, and he’s breathing shallowly as he lays them down on the floor beside the bed - it would be a crime to treat such nice clothes roughly! Shu must be rubbing off on him...

The stupid vest and shirt and the... Whatever the pants are called. They will not come off on their own.

It’s too much. Rei tips sideways onto the bed, folding his limbs against his body to occupy as little space as possible. The infirmary beds are not as comfortable as his coffin, but they are better than the floor, and much better than being upright. It occurs to him that he’s flopped right on top of Sagami’s note, but there’s no helping that now.

Ah, and the overhead light is still on. If only Rei had an army of bats at his disposal, life would be much easier.

Or, actually, perhaps if he had allowed himself to admit weakness earlier, one of his unitmates might have accompanied him back to the infirmary to help him change. They’d all offered, but Rei had let his pride get the best of him. And now he is here, half-changed and curled up in bed like a dead bug. He even feels like a dead bug, stiff and dusty; probably smelly, too.

Time slows to a crawl as he lies there, too detached from himself to indulge in sad thoughts for long. He might have fallen asleep, but eventually he becomes aware of footsteps and voices outside the room. Perhaps some students more diligent than Rei and his unitmates have stayed on campus until evening, rehearsing or studying or whatever it is students who care about graduation do at night, Rei wouldn’t know.

The footsteps and voices grow closer, and before Rei can compose himself into a more presentable heap of limbs, they’re bursting through the door of the infirmary. Rei lifts his head an inch off the pillow and makes out Koga and Adonis, both still wearing their pirate costumes and laden with plastic bags of leftover food and props.

Their faces are blurry, but Rei can still catch the way their expressions change when they spot him collapsed on the bed, legs curled up to his body, arms resting at odd angles.

Koga stops talking and bounds over to Rei’s bedside. “What the hell, you’re not dying, are you?”

Adonis approaches more slowly, and sets his bags down on the floor. He looks better than earlier, when Rei had arrived to find Kaoru tied to the ship’s mast, Koga pacing furiously, and Adonis suspiciously busy cooking meat with Ryuseitai’s first years - more settled into his skin. The sight eases Rei’s worries, even as Koga is shoving his face into Rei’s, demanding a response.

“Ah, wanko,” Rei says. At least his voice sounds normal.

“Don’t fucking call me that! We--” Koga gestures proudly at himself and Adonis, “--came all this way to check on you, and you look like you’re gonna die! I _told_ you to eat, do I have to forcefeed you or something?”

The concept of Koga feeding him is frighteningly appealing. Rei lifts one hand pathetically. “I would just like to get some sleep. Haven’t you harassed me enough for one evening?”

Koga jabs his finger in Rei’s face. “Making sure your sorry ass doesn’t die isn’t harassment! God, you’re annoying!”

“Oogami,” Adonis sighs, although Koga ignores him.

If Rei could pull the covers over his face, or maybe the pillow, he would, but he settles for just screwing his eyes shut. When Koga doesn’t speak immediately, he grows nervous, and opens his eyes after only a few moments of stalemate to find Koga and Adonis still there, and also still staring at him.

“Can I help you?” he tries.

Koga gives him a long, appraising look. “Why are you still in that costume?”

“I,” Rei starts, his voice catching in his chest. Wasn’t almost drowning enough of an excuse to get him out of basic human activities? “I got tired and... There’s a lot of buttons...”

“Stupid,” Koga sighs, but he’s reaching for Rei’s vest. “That ain’t comfy to sleep in. Do you have a change of clothes?”

Rei nods. “I’ve got a pajama shirt somewhere... In my bag?”

“Okay, yeah,” Koga says. “Sit up, old man, I’ll change you. It’s like changing a grandpa, right?”

It concerns Rei how unopposed he seems to that idea, but he likes the idea of getting out of the costume. “You’ll have to help me sit up then, wanko, which I think will really cement the ‘grandpa’ image...”

“You’re fucking useless on your own,” Koga grumbles, “why didn’t you call us,” but he wiggles his arm underneath Rei’s shoulder and makes a valiant effort at lifting him up. With his arms no longer underneath himself, Rei can’t help Koga at all, but pleasantly, Koga doesn’t complain, only lifts Rei’s head and shoulders from the pillow like he’s a child and eases him up into a sitting position. Koga’s very close to Rei now, his face inches from Rei’s as he fumbles with the pirate vest, and he’s chewing at his bottom lip as he focuses, making Rei register for the umpteenth time that Koga has nice, plump lips. He’s distracted but still manages to pull the appropriate muscles and lift his arms so Koga can get the vest off, and then Koga doesn’t even hesitate or act weird about taking another guy’s shirt off and just _goes for it_ , briskly undoing the buttons.

It’s been a long time since someone held Rei like this, or did a task like this for him, gently changing his clothes like he’s something fragile that deserves being taken care of. Perhaps Chiaki and Kanata had held him gently earlier when he’d been passed out, but Rei has no memory of that. It’s pathetic how he has to remind himself to not lean into Koga’s arms, to not let tiny noises escape as Koga’s fingers brush over his skin. He’s dizzy by the time his shirt comes off - whether from being held, or from being forced to sit up, or even from the warmth and smell of Koga, safe and unyielding, he isn’t sure, but it sure is embarrassing.

“Aaaand there you go.” Koga’s slipping Rei’s pajama shirt over his head. Rei hadn’t noticed it being fetched from his bag. It’s an oversized concert tour shirt for the British band Muse, which Koga notices once he’s put it on Rei properly, and he expresses his approval loudly.

Rei has brought this shirt with him to previous UNDEAD lives, hoping for an excuse to put it on in front of Koga. “Oh, did I not tell you, wanko? I went to see them when I was abroad...”

“No, fuck you, you never told me that! I love Muse, what the hell!” Koga’s eyes are shining. “What were they like live? I bet they’re fuckin’... Uh...” Now finished changing Rei’s upper half, Koga stares at Rei’s pants. “Do you have a change of pants?”

Rei thinks about it. “Yes. In my bag.”

“Did you see pants?” Koga asks Adonis.

This time Rei sees as Adonis digs in Rei’s bag, coming up with pants a moment later.

“Don’t make this weird,” Koga tells Rei firmly, and begins to undo the fastenings on the pirate pants. Quickly, Rei decides his reactions to this fall firmly beyond the realm of _sad and touch-starved_ and enter another, even more embarrassing territory, and he also finds himself even dizzier than before as Koga’s fingers drag his zipper down and his hands encircle Rei’s waist. Rei shuts his eyes to collect himself, lifts his hips mutely when Koga starts tugging on the waistband, and then squirms as much as he’s able to help Koga wrestle the awful pants off his legs. He’s too overwhelmed to consider the fact that now his juniors can see his shitty legs until after his entire lower half is bare, and it’s only now that Rei remembers _things_ , such as, neat lines of scars he never, ever wanted anyone to see, especially not Koga and Adonis who are _supposed_ to look up to him, as if he hasn’t smashed that image to pieces already today.

When Rei opens his eyes, though, he finds Adonis digging in one of the bags of food, and Koga either not looking at Rei’s legs or not reacting to what he might have seen. Before Rei can think of what to do, Koga’s feeding Rei’s feet through the legs of his pajama pants, and he tugs the pants up as far as he can on Rei’s legs until Rei refuses to lift his ass to allow his pants to be put on fully, and Koga growls at him and gives up, withdrawing and letting Rei flop back onto his pillow.

It’s unfair that Koga seems so unaffected by the entire experience of _changing Rei’s clothes_ , since Rei finds it highly overwhelming and now wants nothing more than for his juniors to leave so he can pretend he’s not having a crisis over it in peace. But then Adonis is opening a container of leftover barbeque, and Rei’s whole body feels like it’s disintegrating like a bath bomb in water at the sudden smell of the meat.

“You need to eat,” Adonis tells Rei. “At least some protein.”

“I’m not hungry,” Rei says, praying his stomach won’t growl right now, or ever.

“I just changed your clothes _and_ touched your ass,” Koga grumbles, grabbing the container out of Adonis’ hands. “I’m not gonna let you just not eat all day.” Adonis produces a plastic fork from the bag as well and hands it over to Koga, who spears a piece of meat with it and holds it in Rei’s face. “Open up, vampire bastard.”

“This is cruel,” Rei says, unfortunately opening his mouth to speak, and Koga takes advantage of this misstep to push the meat into Rei’s mouth. His mouth explodes with flavors and juices, and even as his stomach lurches excitedly at the prospect of food, it takes a great effort to chew and swallow. Once he achieves that, another piece of meat is thrust in his face, but at this point his body displays some sort of survival instinct, grasping at the first hint of food it’s been offered in...some amount of time Rei does not want to think about, and before Rei realizes it, he’s accepting the offered meat and gulping it down.

Koga appears heartened by this, and continues feeding Rei until the container is empty. Triumphantly, he throws the container at the trash can, misses, curses, and gets up to pick up the container and throw it away correctly. While he’s gone, Adonis gets up and takes Koga’s spot, and begins to feed Rei some more meat.

“Oi, that’s my job,” Koga growls.

“You had your turn, Oogami,” Adonis says. Rei, chewing blissfully, frowns at both of them.

Resigned, Koga takes Adonis’ spot, and digs a sports drink out of one of the bags, which he offers Rei. The prospect of electrolytes is delightful, but Rei does not want to sit up, so he shrugs in response, as if that will communicate his dilemma. Koga rolls his eyes and sets the sports drink down next to Rei’s bag - a compromise.

Rei continues to allow Adonis to feed him until his body decides it’s had enough - something about stomachs shrinking when they are not fed - and he gently refuses the next forkful. Thankfully, Adonis appears satisfied with the amount Rei has eaten, and packs the leftovers back into their bags.

“I think you two have done enough meddling tonight,” Rei says, hoping he sounds like he’s exasperated and not desperately grateful like he feels.

Koga and Adonis scoff (Koga much louder), but they begin to get up and gather their bags. Koga nudges the sports drink closer to Rei’s bedside, and then notices something on the floor beside it and bends to pick it up. It’s a folded square of paper, and Rei suddenly remembers Sagami’s note.

“That must have fallen off the bed,” he says, watching as Koga unfolds the paper and scans its contents.

“Oh, yeah, it’s for you.” Koga flips the paper around to show Rei the message - apparently Sagami had taken pity on him and left him a can of tomato juice in the fridge, which technically is only to be used for medical purposes (whatever the medical purposes of a fridge are) but where Sagami stores his beer more often than not. “You want the juice?”

“No, I’ll save it for the morning.”

Koga scoffs some more, tossing Sagami’s note down next to Rei’s bag. “Idiot, you can’t just have juice for breakfast. I’ll leave you some meat.”

“I don’t want meat for breakfast either...”

Uncaring, Koga walks over to the fridge and carefully stuffs one of the bags of leftovers inside, shoving aside Sagami’s beer cans.

Rei mushes his face into his pillow. “Nooo...”

“If you don’t want it, I am sure Sagami-sensei will eat it.” With Koga distracted, Adonis begins picking up Koga’s bags to carry as well. “He does not seem like the type to waste food.”

Koga returns from the fridge and immediately starts grabbing at Adonis’ bags. “Hey! I told you, I can carry more than two!”

“My hands are bigger than yours,” Adonis tells him, already walking towards the door.

“No! Fuck you!” Koga hurries after him, his bags swinging wildly at his sides.

At the door, Adonis turns and calls back to Rei. “Rest well, Sakuma-senpai.” The smile he gives Rei is genuine, unburdened, even as he dodges Koga’s now halfhearted swipes.

“Oh, yeah--” Koga turns back to Rei as well. He doesn’t smile like Adonis does, but the gaze he fixes Rei with feels the same, reassuring and bright. “Get some sleep, vampire bastard. We’ll see ya in the morning, so don’t do anything stupid during the night, ‘kay?”

With that, Koga flicks off the lights with his elbow and the pair of them duck out the doorway, leaving Rei comfortable, full, and flustered in peace.

 

* * *

 

Once the door of the infirmary is safely two hallways behind them, Oogami suddenly collapses into himself, like a hoodie when the strings are pulled, with a tiny whine. Adonis stops in his tracks, looking concerned.

“I touched... Vampire bastard’s ass,” Oogami explains, a little out of breath.

Adonis nods.

“And I saw his shitty pale thighs. Did you see? Do you think he’s ever gotten tan in his fucking life?”

“He doesn’t seem fond of the sun, so probably not,” Adonis guesses.

“Oh, I’m so fucked.” Oogami drops his bags on the floor and rubs his hands over his face. “What an asshole! I can’t believe he saw Muse in concert and never told me! I _love_ Muse!”

Adonis has no reply for this, and too many bags in his hands to pat Oogami’s back, so he waits until Oogami uncurls himself and picks his bags up again before saying, “I’m happy for you.”

Oogami turns to look at Adonis, squinting. “What about you? Did takin’ care of S-- ...the vampire bastard make you feel less shitty?”

There’s no benefit to commenting on the missed word when they both know what Oogami almost said. Adonis considers. He feels less like he needs to be _doing_ something now - the urge from earlier to go for a run, or cook, or lift weights, or do _anything_ to stop feeling tiny and useless, is gone, replaced by warmth at the memory of watching Sakuma-senpai taking careful bites of meat. Even their fearless leader can be weak and helpless sometimes, which ought to be frightening, but instead it’s almost cute.

“Yeah,” he nods.

Oogami smiles at him, and bumps their shoulders together. “That’s good. I’m gonna kick Hakaze’s ass next time I see him, too, so don’t fuckin’ worry anymore.”

“You already punched him once,” Adonis says, although he isn’t really opposed to watching Oogami punch Hakaze again.

“Yeah, yeah,” Koga says. Now that he appears recovered from his brief crisis about Sakuma-senpai, he beams at Adonis. “C’mon, we’d better hurry if we want to get home.”

“Yes,” Adonis says, his chest suddenly feeling warm as he hefts the bags in his heads and heads after Oogami.

 

* * *

 

Kaoru loathes the idea of returning home while his dad might still be awake even on a normal day. The ice Koga had reluctantly given him for his bruised cheek had not reduced any of the swelling, and his jaw aches when he moves it; the prospect of his dad asking about the bruise, or his dad speaking at all, when Kaoru’s face hurts and he feels miserable and rotten, is just awful.

So he’s not going home yet. Instead, he changes back into his uniform and wanders back down to the beach, where hopefully he won’t be seen or bothered at this hour. His surfboard is at home, but he flops down in the sand a few feet from where the high tide left its prints, and takes out his phone.

Thanks to the harsh sunlight of the daytime, he’d had it on the highest brightness setting possible, and the battery is very low. Kaoru taps out a few texts to girls he’d left hanging hours ago when the live started, but no one is awake at this time, so his phone stays silent in his hand.

The only person usually up at this hour, actually, is Sakuma-san, who headed back in the infirmary last Kaoru heard. He’d overheard Koga and Adonis talking about going to bring him food when he’d left the stupid pirate ship. They’re probably still there, eating leftover meat and talking about what a shitty person Kaoru is.

The sound of the waves crashing on the shore in front of Kaoru is an unfair parallel to the feeling of all the thoughts he’d been ignoring all day suddenly welling up in his mind. Guilt at having disappointed and angered his unit, frustration at being probably the world’s worst senpai, even shame because Kanata-kun and Sakuma-san, some of the only people at this fucking school who made Kaoru feel okay sometimes, were probably angry with him too - all of it washes over him, making his face heat up and his eyes burn with embarrassing tears. The whole thing is so stupid - he’d known exactly what he was doing when he shoved Koga and Adonis into cages, but it had seemed harmless then, and he just wanted... What? To pretend the rest of his unit wasn’t there, talented and loud and full of expectations that Kaoru can’t ever meet? To attract the attention of the girls in the audience, as if they would like it if he did something cruel to his juniors? To throw it in Sakuma-san’s face that Kaoru is only a disappointment, because how dare he have something like heat exhaustion and leave Kaoru alone with his juniors who _hate_ him?

The more he thinks about it all, the harder it is to not burst into tears, which is the worst part - well, not the worst part, but the most embarrassing. It should feel less awful to cry on the beach with no one to see him, but Kaoru knows he looks stupid and pathetic, and it makes his chest hurt even more. He presses his palm flat over his chest, inhaling as slowly as he can manage, trying to calm down, because, god, he already feels so pathetic and this is one thing he can control - no crying like a baby on the beach! - but even as he breathes out carefully, the tears in his eyes overflow and he gives up, slamming his fist against the ground as a sob bursts from his chest.

 _Stupid_ , he thinks, _stupid_ , and he continues thinking this until he stops crying again.

In his hand, his phone makes a dull sound, reminding him that his battery is low. It would be bad if it died before he got home, even if he has to run into his dad, even now that he’s got shitty swollen eyes as well as his shitty swollen cheek. In a way, it’s better - if he’s already the lowest of the low, harsh words from his dad can’t make him feel any worse, right?

It’s not true, but it’s enough to get him to haul himself to his feet. There’s an imprint in the sand from where he’d been sitting, and he scuffs it up with his foot, destroying any trace that he’d been here.


End file.
